“Fucker!”
Eddie drove up next to the car that just cut him off.
“Was that necessary? Seriously you dip shit! We’re all stuck here because of drivers like you! Stupid piece of…”
Words go unheard in the traffic mess heading to the mall. Even if the driver could read lips, the excess window tint made it impossible. Eddie’s lane started to move. His little but throaty Civic bellowed as he punched the gas.
“See dumb fuck! You should have stayed in your lane. Ha ha ha.”
While everyone was trying to turn into the first garage entrance, Eddie’s lane led the traffic down to the other entrances. Although there was still some congestion getting in, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the other which overflowed out to the main street. Relieved, Eddie decided to take the very last entryway, because, as young and energetic as he was, he didn’t mind the extra walk. And sure enough, it was logical thinking for him, and the other drivers stuck waiting.
“What in hell?”
Eddie stared unbelieving at the parking grid lock.
“Everyone had the same fucking idea? You’re shittin me.”
Banging his head against the top of his steering wheel was all he could do.
“Fucking fuck fuck. Why…”
The whole situation could have been avoided if he did what millions of Americans had done, shopped early. Now he finds himself as another holiday statistic. Something to add on top of road rage.
Thirty minutes went by and the parking situation was taken care of.
“Finally. They better fucking validate my parking.”
Streams of people were flowing up and down the escalators in droves. Groups were packed against the elevators incessantly pressing the buttons as if that made it go faster. Aimless people emptied out to the parking area like lost fish prey upon by metal sharks on wheels.
It was time for Eddie to dive into the shopping madness. He checks his wallet. Pulls it from his back pocket putting it into the front. Cell phone is nicely tucked away in his jacket pocket. Zipping up, he joins the crowd.
The Grove attracts most middle to upper class shoppers. However, judging from the variety of stores and its outside environment, it’s not the most ideal place for general shopping. Malls would better this place. But with the restaurants, novelty fountain, and scenery, it appears families are the main demographic. And that wasn’t Eddie’s profile at all. He was stopping by to get to the Apple Store. Electronics for a present. That was going to be the best gift ever. Of course, that is, if he could actually get the item.
In an effort to help stimulate buying, the company issued out a limited edition music player made only available for a limited time. For most, it was just another music player. For an avid collector of Beatles memorabilia, the item would make for one great gift. Especially for the price it was being offered at, just under twenty dollars.
“No fucking way.”
There was a line leading outside from the store.
“Is this for the player?” Eddie asks the people at the end.
“I think so,” one person answers unconvincingly.
“Yep. This is the end of the line buddy,” pipes up an older man. “You better get in before they run out.”
“Run out?”
“Yeah, the other store ran out of them this morning. That’s why I’m here.”
“Really.”
“Appears half the buyers are turning around and reselling them on eBay for half a grand.”
A few heads turned as the older man finished. Eddie couldn’t figure out if the action was an acknowledgment of interest or an admission of guilt. Either way, he quickly stepped in line before a few others did the same.
Movement in the line was slow. Even slower than the traffic getting into the mall. By the hour’s end, Eddie made it inside the store. Within thirty minutes he makes it to the counter.
“About fucking time.”
“Merry Christmas to you too,” the cashier responded.
Eddie was in no mood.
“I’ll take two of those music players.”
“One per customer.”
“Bullshit.”
“New policy sir. We had to change it when we heard about the other store and besides, this is the last one.”
“Shit. I’ll take it!”
The line behind Eddie erupts in disappointment. People threw their hands in the air. Others stormed out. Some still stayed in line hoping the information they received was incorrect or had just mistaken the line for normal purchases. Seeing the foul moods of everyone, Eddie finally realizes how lucky he is.
“Gift wrap?” asks the cashier.
Upon convincing himself, Eddie answer. “Yeah. Sure. Thanks.”
Within minutes the player is wrapped and the transaction is complete.
“Happy holidays,” waved the cashier.
“You too,” replied Eddie, adding an extra “and Merry Christmas.”
With all the envious eyes on him, Eddie couldn’t contain his grin. He did feel bad for the others who waited for disappointment. But the feeling of narrowly avoiding that felt overwhelmed the feeling of guilt. He got what he was looking for. And now he could get to the holiday party and deliver one of the best gifts. Or could he?
Everyone knew the item was selling out the first day. What if that would have been his fate. People would understand. He wasn’t a Beatles fan. Only associated the music to older people like his parents. Five hundred dollars could come in handy. Christmas was still a week away. This was only for the annual Christmas party with his closest friends. He could sit out of it for once. Keeping this little gem of a gift inside his car.
The ride was painfully long. Images of past year’s parties went through his head. Everyone’s smiling faces and heart felt wishes. His stomach growled as he thought of the food. From the heavy eggnog to the turkey and even sometimes honey baked ham, they all sounded good right now. Not even being the best fan of ham, he imagined he could enjoy a slice right now. The car couldn’t go any faster as in his decision. It was just a thing, a toy. No one needed it. No one was expecting it. Would he succumb to the holiday spirit?
“Fine. Fucking fine!” Eddie decided.
Arriving at the house, he had to remind himself to ditch the vulgarity. There would be kids around. No one’s a kid anymore.
“Hey! Eddie.” His friend answers the door.
“Yo. Merry Christmas.”
“We can start now, Eddie’s here,” his friend yells back inside. “Come on in. We’ve been waiting for you.”
“Oh, you shouldn’t have.”
“We definitely should. You’re number one my friend. We picked your number for you. Oh, is this for the white elephant?”
“Uh… yeah.”
“Let’s just put that over here with the others. Okay. Go ahead, pick…”
Being first in a white elephant gift exchange is always awful. No matter what, either you get a good present stolen from you or you get a realy awful one no one wants. In Eddie’s case, getting a toothbrush meant he got the latter. He sat in the corner looking at the toothbrush while everyone jeered on. Maybe everything was worth it. Seeing Joanne’s face light up when she opened his present. Seeing how everyone kept stealing the present form one another. And especially how everyone knew how much the present was worth and how crazy he was to have put it in the exchange.
“Fucking holidays my ass.”
