20. we just sat there

We just sat there. Quiet. Probably all thinking of what to do. Probably not. Thomas looked like he wanted to sleep. That leaves me and Joanne. Yeah. Same old story. We didn’t have much to talk about. I was thinking hard though. When to break the news we would be short on food. And that it’ll get dark eventually. And here we are, up on this path. Our grand scheme of observe and then do something if it looked like trouble was coming to an end with nightfall. As if it were effective to begin with.

“It’s going to get dark soon.”

Joanne had decided to start.

“We don’t have much food left.”

I don’t know why I blurt things out. Should have just continued on with Joanne’s topic. Wish I could live just five minutes into the future to correct my stupid ass mistakes. But this was Joanne. She’s used to me.

“What do we have left?”

“Two Clif bars.”

I could tell Joanne’s mind kicked into high gear. The way she looks down to the side. Arms propped up on her hips. And her eyes deciphering some puzzle that only she can see. This was good news to me. Someone was thinking of possible solutions. All I could think of was how bad things were and how I could have changed it. Should have packed more food. Stupid me. Should have stayed in the cabin. Stupid me. Shouldn’t have even come on this trip. Fucking me.

Joanne looked up.

She had kinda a blank look. An empty stare. Yet there was a sparkle of intrigue.

I couldn’t figure it out then. Must have been a good five minutes before I realized she wasn’t lost in thought. Not in her original thought that is. Lost in a new set as she stared down the path.

I looked too.