Joanne caught up to me. Not sure what she was going through her mind. But I was sure glad she took up Thomas’s other arm. She slung his arm over like handbag not removing her line of sight of the new stranger.
“Kyle. That’s the name I was given.”
He spoke as his tall lanky body trodded down the path. The movements looked slow and lazy, but being the size that he is, he was covering alot of ground.
“But if you prefer, you may continue to call me Bigfoot… or Sasquatch… or even the Abominable Snowman. Been them all, though wouldn’t you prefer a simple one syllable name like Kyle? And besides, we still call each other by names don’t we? That’s what we humans still do. Right?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Or even if I should be responding. Were we being lectured? Or maybe he’s just talking because he knows we’re unable to. Definitely not Joanne. She’s still gawking. Jaw dropped. Eyes unblinking. And yet, we strode in unison carrying Thomas along. Kyle. Yeah… Kyle’s last words were leading us on. We humans.
“Yes.”
My answer was stuttered. That appeared to be the response he was looking for because he nodded as if he knew I caught that last part of the statement.
“That’s good to hear. It’s been a while. I was scared you all would start calling each other by numbers.”
“I think we do. Not in the sense you’re thinking of. We do call each other with numbers. Phone numbers.”
Joanne’s head turned slowly to me. Real slowly. And she didn’t have to say a word. I knew what that look said. The incredulous, angry and perplexed look that just said, Really?
Kyle laughed.
“Ah yes. The phone. Humanity’s great advances in technology.”
“Alot has changed.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Not sure when you left, but we have the internet, mobile phones, cloned,
…
I couldn’t tell what it was at first. One of those things your mind does to you. You know when you first look at something and your mind makes the wrong connection. Like that classic drawing of an old lady with a big nose but you really see an elegant lady with her face turned away. It was like that. Though I had no idea what my mind processed it to be. Just something moving at first. Camouflaged by distance and confusion among the backdrop of trees. A tall brown mass slowly moving towards us. Soon as I noticed the arms, my mind clicked. It went down a checklist. Tall human figure. About seven feet tall. Long brown hair hanging all over it’s body. Walking in kind of a slouched position. I’ve seen this on TV. Everyone’s heard of him at one point or another. My mouth was paralyzed. But when it spoke, it spoke what other people wouldn’t normally think it was.
“Chewbacca?”
Don’t think Joanne heard me, or if she did, she didn’t care about my idiotic response.
In any case, we were both frozen. Not by fear. Just in awe. Good thing Bigfoot was friendly. He would have problem getting a hold of us two. Even when he stopped within ten feet of us, we just sat there. Mouth gaping. Wondering what the hell we were suppose to do.
He faced me. Trying hard not to frighten me. He raised his hand. Slowly. Palm out. The hairless skin of the underside showed he was human underneath that carpet. Yet his hairy face still looked ape or caveman like. Still. Nothing about him but his shear size portrayed anything menacing. Still, when he spoke I couldn’t help but jump.
“Hi.”
I blinked. He’s speaking. English.
He looked over at Joanne.
“Hello.”
From what I could tell, Joanne was trying to respond. Her head was swaying back and forth. Kinda like a shake, definitely not a nod. Words look liked they were coming out of her mouth the way her lips kept moving. But no sound. And her eyes, wide-opened, kept blinking in rapid random successions.
“You’re friend is hurt.”
Thomas barely paid attention to anything.
“He needs food and rest.”
Realizing Joanne was no help, he turned to me.
“Everyone must come to my dwelling. It may not be safe out here. The smell of blood travels endlessly.”
I simply nod and go over to Thomas. Best I carried him. If Thomas came to and saw who was carrying him. His wound would probably burst right open. Even I’m still in shock. And my version of shock really sucks. I’d rather be like Joanne, a paralyzed being, unable to move or speak, than a easily suggestible soul obeying everything he hears. If this giant told me to dance I would. Where the hell is my fight or flee response. Totally out the door. But this situation isn’t a fearful one. Guess it’s more of an astonishing situation.
With one arm over my shoulder, I look at Joanne. Her mind is stalled like Microsoft Windows, not able to do one simple task, because its whole mind is trying to make sense of things. Hopeless. I shift most of Thomas’ weight onto myself. I had hope she’d take the other side.
He turned and walked down the path.
Thank God. If he walked up I would of died. Who knows. Maybe that option still exists. I’m putting my trust into this big hairy monster. He’s probably part of the wolf pack or the wild bears. Gets a cut of the killings by retrieving us. Alive and fresh. That’s usually the best tasting meats when we used to eat. USDA Prime. Freshly cut and prepared to a savory medium rare. Enough to taste the juices as you bite in. Oh man, I was making myself hungry. The image of that blood soaked rabbit flashed through my mind. Normally that would gross me out, but being as hungry as I was, I actually imagined the taste. This was horrible. Only been several hours since my meal. Not quite dinner time either and I feel this way.
“You are hungry.”
He had walked several yards down the path already. Was my stomach growling?
“Stay away from the meat. Meats are tainted.”
I knew that. We all knew that. Maybe not him. Living in the woods like this. Cut off from civilization. No television or newspapers telling him about the strange things happening. He had to have tasted it. Knew something was wrong. Kinda like how I tasted it. That taste. It was different. But I never thought it was bad. Just knew it was different.
“Bigfoot.”
The words broke through. Joanne was using her outdoor voice.
Bigfoot gave a slight salute. His back was still turned, walking down the path.
“Yes. I have been referred to by that name.”
We just sat there. Quiet. Probably all thinking of what to do. Probably not. Thomas looked like he wanted to sleep. That leaves me and Joanne. Yeah. Same old story. We didn’t have much to talk about. I was thinking hard though. When to break the news we would be short on food. And that it’ll get dark eventually. And here we are, up on this path. Our grand scheme of observe and then do something if it looked like trouble was coming to an end with nightfall. As if it were effective to begin with.
“It’s going to get dark soon.”
Joanne had decided to start.
“We don’t have much food left.”
I don’t know why I blurt things out. Should have just continued on with Joanne’s topic. Wish I could live just five minutes into the future to correct my stupid ass mistakes. But this was Joanne. She’s used to me.
“What do we have left?”
“Two Clif bars.”
I could tell Joanne’s mind kicked into high gear. The way she looks down to the side. Arms propped up on her hips. And her eyes deciphering some puzzle that only she can see. This was good news to me. Someone was thinking of possible solutions. All I could think of was how bad things were and how I could have changed it. Should have packed more food. Stupid me. Should have stayed in the cabin. Stupid me. Shouldn’t have even come on this trip. Fucking me.
Joanne looked up.
She had kinda a blank look. An empty stare. Yet there was a sparkle of intrigue.
I couldn’t figure it out then. Must have been a good five minutes before I realized she wasn’t lost in thought. Not in her original thought that is. Lost in a new set as she stared down the path.
I looked too.
“Evolutionary Convergence“
Tracing genealogies fascinates many people, and reconstructing the genealogies (which they call “phylogenies”) of groups of organisms is a favorite sport of biologists. A persisting mystery has been the evolutionary relationships of various groups of birds. Which birds are similar because they are descended from relatively recent common ancestors (true evolutionary relationship), and which are similar because, although coming from different recent ancestors, they have evolved similar structures in response to similar ways of life (evolutionary convergence). This mystery is exemplified by a long debate over who are the relatives of the Wrentit. Confusion is indicated by its name: does it share recent common ancestors with wrens, or titmice, or members of some entirely different group? At one time or another, the Wrentit has been declared a near relative of wrens, bushtits, titmice, mockingbirds, Old World warblers (which include Dusky and Arctic Warblers which stray into North America), and babblers (Eastern Hemisphere insect eaters).
Normally evolutionary family trees are constructed by carefully comparing details of structural features, because taxonomists known that overall similarity in form can be misleading. In spite of their fishlike shapes, whales have long been recognized as phylogenetically much more closely related to people than to fishes, because the presence of mammary glands and hair (scanty as it is) and the structure of their brains, hearts, and many other features show them to be mammals. The superficial similarity of fishes and whales is an example of convergence. The whale-fish convergence indicates that streamlining is the evolutionary solution to minimizing drag on large creatures moving rapidly through water.
. . .
Published Stanford Essay found at
http://www.stanford.edu/group/stanfordbirds/text/essays/Birds,_DNA.html
Copyright ® 1988 by Paul R. Ehrlich, David S. Dobkin, and Darryl Wheye
The trail came out of nowhere. Not like out of thin air, but the start didn’t make sense. It just started. From the forest, with all these wild plants, shrubs, vines, to this dirt trail. Like some trail making gnome started from the top, worked his way down, decided the trail sucked and just quit. There was nothing spectacular about it. Just an ordinary looking trail. From what I could tell, it went up the side of the mountain flanked by rows of small trees. The typical public trails you find in Yosemite.
About four switch backs up, we got to a decent clearing with a decent view, but most of all it was a decent place to rest.
Thomas leaned back on a large rock. He was making an effort not to sit. Keeping his cut leg as straight as possible. Every grimace he made won Joanne’s attention. No matter how many times he put his hand up to say he was okay, she was there. Attentive. Caring.
I started wondering how long it’s been since I had that sort of feeling. Precisely that attentive caring feeling. Not exactly what they had. Theirs was different. Attentive and caring was just a small part in their lives.
Ever since I knew them in college, they were close. Like real close. Pretty much boyfriend girlfriend close. They went to school together. Waited for each other after classes. Studied together. But all of which under the guise of friendship. I mean, we were all there. They were never alone. The carpool always had someone else there. Mainly me. But I was just a fly on the wall. Never said much. Except for when Thomas and I started talking about what baud rate modem we had and what new computer games supported them. Other than that, they were the ones who talked. Studying was in the library. We all assembled at the library like it was our predetermined spot. Second row of tables on the far right corner as you come in. It was your ordinary wooden table with pull up chairs. Plastic cushions. Dark brown enameled wood. You can see a few of our carvings there if you look closely. Carved in with sharp pencils. no one ever thought to erase them or pencil in their own. But I guess for the four years we were there, no one took that spot. It was away from the computer desks. On the side of the room that was nothing but a barren yellow wall. All the activity was on the side with all the computers and the doors leading to the books. Then again, this was why this was our area. No one bothered us. And on those late night study sessions, when people trickled out, including our group, Thomas and Joanne sat there. Side by side. Unbothered.
We always assumed something was going on between them. We weren’t always around, so there had to be times they were alone together. Just the two of them. Granted, it was usually a public place. Usually because some of us bail or some just show up late. We all imagine they talk about each other. Each other as in them. As a couple. But every time we pry, they say they talk about stupid things, like sports, or about other people, or about school. We got the answer from both sides. So either they’re hiding really well or they were simply telling us the truth. We were all clueless. I believed they were being evasive. Though this went against what I knew of Thomas or even Joanne. They were very open and honest. And as the years went by. My theory started to lose its credibility. They still acted the same and we all still raised our eyebrows. Even the newcomers to the group wondered the same. It’s strange. I don’t get it.
In any case. Here they are again. Like a middle aged husband and wife. Still fresh in their relationship. Worrisome inquiries turned into nagging questions. Masculine affirmation reduced to an immature denial. All this, while stuck out here in this surreal situation.
I couldn’t listen to them anymore. I tuned them out.
I know they were there. Right there. Just a few feet away.
But still.
I felt really lonely.
Trees ruffled. The cooling air meant it was getting late. The view from our vantage point was just over the trees. Several more switch backs and we’d see for miles. The sun was slowly going over the mountain behind us. It’s shade blanketed us in minutes. It was both a relief from the warmth and a warning about the chill to come.
My stomach growled. It was earlier than I expected. I looked in my bag.
Just two Clif bars left.
We have another problem.
We moved at a better pace. And by better, I meant better for me. For the most part that meant slower. I had given Thomas some water. And one of my Cliff bars. The sugars and carbs should help. Not sure for how long. Looked like he lost a huge amount of blood. Tightening the turnicate helped too. As long as there wasn’t any more all out running. That pace earlier would have killed me. Might as well have left me for dead.This speed was tolerable. We kept it constant. Breaks were short. A time to get some water. Stretch. And work out any soreness. Particularly in the shoulders. Then we were off again. Toward the mountains. Not toward our cabin.
“Wait. Where are we going?”
“What do you mean?”
Joanne wasn’t stopping. We kept moving forward. Thomas still spaced out. Or just not giving a shit about what we were talking about. I could hear him whine whenever he made a miss-step. We tried our best to stay sync’ed. I think our conversation threw us off.
“What do you think? The cabin isn’t this way.”
I looked at her when I asked this. She had that WTH-face when she turned to me. That is, “What the hell?”
“Why on earth would we want to go back there?”
With that I developed my very own WTH-face. It was all common sense. Something was missing. Still I had to press the issue and lay out the facts.
“Why? It’s the cabin! We could rest. Thomas could rest. There’s Food. Water. Not to mention shelter. It’s safe and sound there.”
“Safe? With all the wolves there?”
“Wolves… what?”
My mind was in free-fall again. This was not making sense. I wanted to stop and get exactly what she meant. Wolves? But wolves were safe right? I thought about telling her, but the mention of danger put a kick in her stride. We began to move faster. And I was running short on breath. It wasn’t helping. Brain analyzing. Feet staying on pace. Arms keeping Thomas up. Eyes watching everything. So it was hard taking in Joanne’s information.
“Isn’t that why you’re out here?”
“No. Bored as hell. Went for a walk. Hike. Along the road. Hoping to catch you. Wait. You drove back to the house?”
My sentences were short. Joanne either noticed my limited cardio capacity or noticed there was only one road between the house and town. She stopped. Finally.
“Yes. We drove back.”
She was staring straight at me as I assumed my usual pathetic out of shape pose. Apparently, I get more oxygen into my body this way. I didn’t or couldn’t say anything so she went on.
“Before we got into the neighborhood we saw wolves. Hundreds, could have been thousands of them, just walking around the houses.”
“That’s impossible.”
“I assure you. I know what I saw.”
“No. I mean, I was on the road. There’s only one road in and out. I would have seen you or at least heard you.”
So there was the whole incident by the river. Off form the main road. Where I eventually took a nap. But still. A large SUV barreling down a gravel road was more audible than a sly wolf creeping around. And there was also that other issue that was on my mind.
“And where’s the car?”
“In the river.”
She paused like I should have known. I just kept on looking… stupid.
“The bears rammed us on the side. Sent us through to the river. Where you were. You ran off when you came your way. I don’t blame you there were at least five grizzlies on our tail.”
Yeah, the stopping, the recovered breathing, the filling in on what happened, and the time to think, all didn’t help. My face went from WTH to WTF, as in “What the fuck?” Nothing was making sense. And every time Joanne clarified something, everything made less sense. They weren’t there. I would have noticed. I know it was a crazy way to wake up. But still. I think I would notice commotion like that.
I resigned to listening.
Joanne went on explaining. What she assumed I did. Running scared. I was, but not about what she thought. I wanted to correct her. But when she started mentioning on how the grizzly bears behaved, I decided not to interrupt her. When they crashed into the water. She thought they were done for. It was that deep part of the river. It would have been a matter of time before the car filled up. And poor old Thomas was taking a beating. They had to get out. But that meant facing the animals. And that was the thing. They were devouring all the fish. With a mad look in their eyes. Not sure what she meant. But it was enough for them to just focus on eating. They eventually went down stream. Feeding off anything living. Giving them enough time to get the hell out of there. And the crazy thing was, the bears didn’t follow. At least didn’t appear to. That’s when I came back into the picture.
There was plenty to digest mentally.
But I couldn’t do it here. Needed time as well. My mind couldn’t take any more. So I just wanted a simple answer.
“Okay. So where are we going to go?”
“Up into mountain. Maybe find a cave. But mainly to keep an eye on everything below. They come in mass.”
Thank goodness something made sense to me.
Joanne had her arms crossed. At least from what I could tell. I still couldn’t bare to look at her eye to eye. Had to fight myself from looking down, which meant at her body. So my focus was somewhere other than directly at her. And being the retard that I was, that meant I stared straight up. Into the sky. And that’s where I kept my gaze during this conversation.
“So what’s going?”
My question came out with more insecurity than curiosity.
She took her time. Probably rolled her eyes. Debated if I deserved an answer.
“We were attacked.”
“I can see that.”
If Tay were here he’d slap the back of the my head for that. Thank goodness she ignored me.
“At the little convenience store in town. There were so many. They came in and flooded the little town in a matter of minutes. They got to the people in front of the store instantly.”
Her eyes lost the anger. She looked away. Back toward town.
“The people were mauled. Eaten. Still screaming.”
The words were so foreign. Animals eating people. Sure we’ve had animals attack people. But in mass and to eat. That was rare. And the scene. The scene must have been horrible. Joanne and Thomas witnessed this. Even my brother. I had to ask.
“Tay?”
Her hand was trying to cover quivering lips.
“I don’t know.”
“Was he with you?”
“Yes. I mean no.”
She was rubbing her head trying to make sense of things. I just stood there watching. Listening. I knew better not to disturb people trying to make sense of things. Something didn’t seem right. And that’s not including the animals.
“He was there and then he wasn’t, then we saw him. We kept losing him in the aisles of the grocery store. One second he was picking out cereal. Next he’s over getting water. And we’re between the two places. Then that’s when the grizzly bears appeared. Like out of the blue.”
Grizzly bears?
“The entranced was blocked so everyone toward the back of the store decided to break the window and run out. That’s when Thomas cut himself on the broken glass. And Tay, he got to the car with us. But once we got in, he was gone.”
She looked over at me.
“I’m sorry. They started coming toward our car. We didn’t see him anywhere so we had to drive. I’m so sorry.”
I finally met her eyes with mine. Her eyes pleaded for forgiveness while mine must have looked like one confused child. I couldn’t grasp anything at that moment. Everything one thing she told me gave me two more things to ask. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. She was going to break down.
“It’s okay Joanne.”
Wasn’t sure what to say.
“You did the right thing.”
Figure it was something better than being mad. That wouldn’t help out the situation. She went through plenty and I would just introduce another problem for her. And for some reason,call it a feeling, but I knew Tay was fine. It was a good move of her to get out of there as soon as she could. Spending any more time there meant being trapped. And who knows how long Thomas could have held out seeing how he was. When I turned to check on Thomas, Joanne wrapped her arms around me. It caught me off guard. I jolted at first. Couldn’t believe she was actually hugging me. Wasn’t sure exactly what to do, but soon I decided it was probably good for me at this point to reciprocate. I felt a little whimper. Her arms held tight. Her soft skin was against me. It felt good. I had to fight off those thoughts. This was what normal people do in these situations.
Felt like the forest shielded us. Whatever was out there was out there. Not in here. It was peaceful in here. Copper red tree trunks on a backdrop of greenish gold. The perfect haven for us. For this. Time slowed. Not sure how long we held each other.
Wish it were forever.
“Where’s Tay?”
I totally didn’t hear what Joanne or Thomas said. Running over to them all I noticed was why my brother wasn’t with them. Didn’t even notice Thomas was hurt. His leg was gashed. Some make shift bandage was wrapped around it. I think it was a towel. Of course I noticed this after my next observation.
“Where’s the car?”
Joanne’s very used to my behavior. She just shook her head. Probably rolled her eyes as well. Couldn’t see. She was under Thomas’s shoulder retying the bandage on his leg.
“Give me a hand.”
I took over as a human crutch. I wasn’t any better at it than Joanne. He’s one heavy fuck. Always knew he was a bit overweight, but had to try and carry him. That’s if you consider this carrying him. I swore I’d go to the gym after this. Man, how did Joanne manage this? At least I gave her a break. She crouched down to examine the wound. Rubbing her neck. Tough girl.
Thomas didn’t look so good. He was pale, wincing at every move. I wanted to ask how he was doing, but it was obvious. And more than likely he wasn’t going to answer. Joanne was talking to him but he hardly responded. Asking him if was too tight. If he could feel her holding his ankle. Wondering if she should clean the wound. Didn’t matter what she said. She had already resigned that Thomas would answer. His eyes just stared off, half opened. I could feel him shivering. Yet I could see sweat beading off his face. He was fevering bad. Then it hit me then. He could actually be dying.
“Thomas.”
She cupped his face in her hands.
“Look at me.”
Don’t think he looked. But I did. Her eyes were red. Under that strong stern voice of hers she was holding back the pain. I know she didn’t want to lose him. That’s how she managed to get this far. However far this must have been. Still didn’t know what had happened. But at least now I was considerate enough to shut the hell up.
“How are you feeling? Can you go further?”
Somehow she was able to reach down those eyes and get to Thomas. He nodded. And she took his other arm over her shoulder. Then we started to move on.
We moved faster than I thought we would. Almost a running pace. We basically carried Thomas if he didn’t put down foot every once in a while. Wasn’t sure how long I could keep this up. The terrain wasn’t ideal. Surprised we hadn’t tripped over anything. But if Joanne was determined to move at this speed, I wasn’t going to stop. Not sure if she had a plan. The river was in the opposite direction. Though they may have come from there. Running from whatever was chasing at them. If it were wolves, I’d be perplexed as to why they were running. Unless it wasn’t the one I saw. Though running at this pace, albeit fast, wasn’t going to outrun anything.
I glanced back. Just trees.
Wasn’t sure what I expected to see. Or wanted to see. Maybe that wolf. Some reason, seeing him would calm this uneasy feeling I had. Still had plenty of questions and no breath to ask them.
“Okay. Break time.”
Thank God!
We leaned Thomas against a tree. I settle into my usual out of shape posture. That involves me slouched over, both hands on bracing myself on my knees, and panting like a dog. Not sure how long we’ve been running. I felt like throwing up. And when I finally caught the scent coming from Thomas’ wound, I did.
“Are you okay?”
I looked up at Joanne.
Hardly tired. She must have stopped for me. Her hand was on my shoulder but her attention behind us. Scanning the forest for danger. I redirected my gaze to her body. She just had on her white t-shirt and sweatpants. Not those cotton ones, but those dryfit ones. Her shirt though, was cotton and was white and was wet. Not from sweat. Unless her sweat glands were all over. No, it was the river. They must have gone through it as well. Probably further downstream. She definitely was fit. Being the tomboy that she was, I wasn’t surprised. It’s just I never saw her in this light. I mean, I could see through her shirt. Even through the sports bra I hear she always wears. Somehow bras are uncomfortable for her. I don’t know. I just know I’m staring right at her nipples. They were erect as I was.
I let down an uncomfortable gulp.
I look back up at Joanne. She was glaring at me.
I let down another one and look away.
What the hell is wrong with me?
If I could erase this one moment from the history of Joanne and myself, it would do no good. There were plenty more. Come to think of it, I think this is the fundamental basis of our relationship. Just a series of awkward moments. Never was able to be normal around her. Even if I try and be helpful or preoccupy myself with some task. I only end up weirding her out. Why the hell am I so abnormal? Either I say something or do something that fucks up the vibe. At this point I don’t think we can simply be around each other. I mean, just the two of us. This was the perfect example. Me, her, and Thomas, who was here physically, but mentally, not really. And look at me. Already messing things up. She only puts up with it because she knows I’m Tay’s brother.
Speaking of which.
Once I opened my eyes, I shot up. Sitting totally erect. Eyes unblinking on what was next to me. A dead rabbit. Blood, fresh, pooling under its fidgeting body. It was sick. A huge chunk of flesh was torn from its little body. Several bones were shattered and protruded out. I couldn’t tell if it was still alive, in shock, or dead, moving involuntarily. Whatever the case, it freaked the shit out of me.
I shuffled back. Pushing my hands against the rock, stamping it red.
“What the fuck!”
Didn’t know what the wolf was playing at. Yeah. The Wolf. That thought ran through my head for a split second. Cause when I saw him I back peddled even more. And with that, I found myself falling into the river.
What a way to wake up.
Splashing and panicking in the water. I nearly drowned. But once I remembered how to swim, you know, not screaming under water and breathing when you have air around you, I was able to swim to the other side. And by swim, I didn’t mean elegant strokes. I was flailing my arms and kicking my legs wildly. If that wolf went after me, I doubt it could see me in the foray of water I flung. Madness.
Once my feet felt something solid, I took off. No looking back. There was no way I was wasting time. Bee line through the forest. If you can imagine that. No bush, no shrub, no vines were stopping me. Okay, so maybe trees.
I ran until the adrenaline wore out. My breaths worked hard to replenish my blood.
Things were coming back to focus.
Brain began to work.
The wolf.
Yeah. The wolf.
That’s when it finally hit me. I’m an idiot. Not that the wolf meant me any harm. Well that too. But I left my knife back there. Not that I needed it. But all these thoughts were using up what little brain capacity I had. I grabbed my shoulder. Still had my backpack. At least that was there. I looked over my body. All my limbs were there. No mauled parts. My mind finished up my thought list. And I was able to get back to the important one. The wolf.
I looked behind me.
There he was. Keeping his distance. Head just above the underbrush. He had followed me. This was the closest I saw him at this point. I guess besides earlier, when he was basically right next to me. But this is when I got a good look. His eyes weren’t those menacing eyes you usually see. Almost timid. If I didn’t know any better I’d think he was a domesticated or just one of those dogs that look like a wolf. I don’t know. But actually, he looked scared. Looking around like he wasn’t safe.
I have that habit of looking around whenever other people start looking around. Even if I don’t know the person. Just a natural instinct. When an animal in a herd becomes alert it signals trouble for others. That’s what it did for me. I looked.
My face still soaked by either the river or sweat.
I wipe my eyes.
Take a good look.
“Joanne?”
No way.
“Thomas?”
They were still far away, but I knew it was them. The color of their clothes was all I needed to see. They were making their way toward me. I wonder if they see me. Why aren’t they running over here. Was it because of the wolf? I wanted to tell them there was nothing to fear. But there really wasn’t anything to fear. It was gone.
People turn to pets to cure loneliness. For guys, not only do they offer companionship, but they offer you game. An ice breaker with the ladies. That is, As long as it’s a dog. Cause if you walk a cat, weasel, or snake you’d be considered creepy. And as long as it’s a respectable dog, not one you’d carry in a purse or one that has a physical disability. A clumsy dog is adorable while a retarded one is just not right. Society has so many rules. Correction. Society’s acceptable norm. All a bunch of bullshit anyways.
My family thinks I should have a pet. Not knowing I choose to be this way. Don’t matter how many friends I have. I just need a few good ones. Really good ones.
Not sure what a dog would do.
I’m not the type to take my dog to the dog park.
I’m not the type to keep my dog on a leash.
I’m not the type to keep my dog inside my house.
He’s an animal. Just like we are. Deserves to be outside. Roaming free and exploring. Mixing with the other life that’s out there in the world. We’re not caged. Even our ancient brethren. As stupid as they were, they benefited from interacting with dinosaurs. Whether it was good or bad. Dogs should be given the same right.
I had a dog when I was smaller. And by had I don’t mean what society meant. He wasn’t my so-called pet. I didn’t rescue him from a shelter. I didn’t stamp him ours by putting some collar on him. He just happen to wander by and liked our company. My company in particular. In fact, my family didn’t know about him. Only weeks later when he kept showing up in the back of our grocery store by the dumpster. I was giving him food everyday. Yeah. When I look back at it I understand why, but at that time I really thought he liked me because I was me. And I was the only one kind enough to him.
We lived in Texas then. Houston. Within the inner loop. A dump of a place. On paper it sounded great. White colonial house with a fenced yard, sporting massive three bedrooms, two baths, and a two-car garage. All of it Texan style. Large. But in reality, the yard was spotty green, grass if you’re lucky. The house itself was falling apart. Window panes had so many holes mosquito season meant we were an open buffet. And of course, the house was haunted. I was eight. What do you expect? Anything that looked like that house meant it was haunted. So it was no wonder I preferred going into work with my parents. The drive was far off into the countryside, but at least there was air conditioning.
“What’s his name?”
“I don’t know.”
“We should give him one. ‘Junks’ or ‘Junksy.’ He sure like it back there.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t think he likes that name.”
“How do you know that? Here Junksy. Come here boy. I got real food for you.”
“Stop it.”
“What? He’s hungry. Junksy… yeah that’s it. It’s food.“
“Stop!”
“Stop what?”
“Stop calling him that!”
I never really forgave Tay for that. Eventually Tay had told our parents about him. Soon enough, Dad deemed him way too dirty to play with. And from that point on, I had to sneak around. Not a good thing when combined with bad parental supervision. I was spending time off in the woods behind the dumpster.
He was a mutt. Some sort of cross between a German Shepherd.
The mutt did smell bad if you were comparing the smell to flowers. But to me he just smelled of his musk. His natural odor. The scent from that nappy brown fur masked with the scent of leaves, grass and wet earth. That identified him to me probably the same way I did for him. Not sure what I smelled like. My parents made me shower often. So I guess my musk smelled more like summer sweat masked by Dial and Bounce fabric softener.
He roamed freely. And I didn’t have to keep him within any bounds. He wanted to stay around. He chose to come see me whenever he wanted to. Some days I thought he forgot me, but days later I’d see him. He was truly free. Probably off visiting other friends on those other days. That was what my thinking was then. I was pretty naive.
Then there was that day.
It was raining. Not too hard. And yet, I was eager to see my friend the mutt; I still hadn’t given him a name. Not cause I missed him. More like I was worried. There was a huge thunderstorm the night before. The reminents of the storm were just clearing out by morning. If you know Texas thunderstorms you would have been worried too. Especially for anyone stuck outside.
By the time I got clear of my parents, I headed out back. The salty smell of the air was its usual. Though at that time there was something else lingering. An oddly familiar scent. The one that gently tingles your nostrils. Gives you a reminder of what happens when you get socked in the nose. Yeah. That rusty iron smell of fresh meat at the grocery store. But in this case, I wasn’t in the store. I was standing over the mauled body of my friend, the mutt. His eyes vacant of life. His scent was gone. Overpowered by the smell of death. People say the vision of death scars the mind, in my case, it was the scent.
And this same scent was bringing me back from sleep.
You know that feeling when you’re in between sleep and awake? Most people fear it because they think they’re stuck. That someone or even some thing was keeping them down. Keeping them from waking up. Well, I was there and this time, I wished someone kept me from awaking.
Cause that was definitely blood I was smelling.
